When Emotions Get Loud: Helping Kids Handle Big Feelings in Real Time

Let’s be real—kids feel things big. One second they’re happily building with blocks, the next they’re in full meltdown mode because the blue one won’t fit. Been there?

This week, I want to talk about what to do when those big emotions show up loud and uninvited—the tears, the yelling, the slammed doors… all of it. Not because we’re trying to “fix” our kids, but because we want to help them understand what’s going on inside—and feel safe while doing it. We also want to stay in control of our own emotions which can be difficult when we are frustrated or overwhelmed ourselves.

Here’s what I’ve learned (and keep learning):

When a child is in a full emotional storm, their brain literally isn’t able to think clearly. That’s not a discipline issue—it’s a nervous system issue. And honestly? They need our calm way more than our correction in that moment.

So here’s what I try to do when things get wild:

💛 1. Say what you see.

Sometimes just saying, “Wow, it looks like you’re really frustrated,” is enough to help them feel seen and understood. Even if they don’t calm down right away, they know I’m there.

🧘‍♀️ 2. Stay close.

Not in a “hover and talk them out of it” way. Just close enough so they know I’m available when they’re ready. I try to offer a cozy space, not consequences.

📣 3. Talk about it later—not during.

After the dust settles, that’s when I go back and say, “Okay, what happened back there?” And we talk about what they could try next time. (Sometimes they surprise me with their answers.)

Try This: Make a “Big Feelings Plan” Together

One of my children has been really struggling with "big feelings". So we sat down and made a plan. Ask your child:

• What helps you feel better when you’re upset?

• Where do you want to go when you need to calm down?

• What should I do when you’re in a mood and I don’t know how to help?

We wrote our answers on a sticky note and posted it by his bedroom door. I also took a photo of the list on my phone so if we are out and about, I can pull it out and use it to visually cue him if he needs it.

If your house is anything like mine, emotions don’t exactly follow a schedule. Some days are smooth, and other days... well, they stretch us. That’s why I’ve been leaning into tools that help us stay connected as a family—even when things get hard. Whether it’s a visual tool, a quick reset space, or just a shared understanding of “this is a safe place to feel,” it makes a difference.

We’re all figuring it out, one big feeling at a time. 💛

—Bridget

P.S.

If you ever feel like you could use a few extra tools, support, or just a community that gets it, that’s exactly why I created the Be Solid kits, coaching groups, and parent circle. They’re here to make emotional growth feel doable—and even fun—for your whole family.